If someone you know is being impersonated, please encourage that person to report it. Where do cows go for entertainment? I used to think that a vasectomy prevented you from having a kid- Turns out it just changes the color. We only respond to reports sent to us from the person who's being impersonated or a representative of the person who's being impersonated ex: a parent. Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? E-mail him at , and tell him how awesome he is below. Blind prostitutes is where I draw the line, you gotta hand it to them.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. The shovel really was a groundbreaking invention. So we stopped playing chess. On my desk, I have a work station. You know what your boss was trying to say? Do you know how motivating it is swimming to the theme song from Jaws? We may also remove posts identifying victims of self injury if the post attacks or makes fun of them. You know when she was born? Light travels faster than sound.
Behind every successful man is a woman. Report as hatred and bullying? My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Read more: I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. Look, you all know that the fact of the matter is I am an absolute hoot just ask my lovely wife Sharon, who married me for my sense of humor — and love of her cooking! Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards. Here are 100 of the best and one-liners of all time, compiled from , and taken from the mouths of comedy legends both past and present.
Because they use honey combs! A collection of some of the funniest film quotes from the last 50 years. In that case, give me a Kyle! Many memorable movie lines are not from the greatest films, but they have remained as part of the film's legacy and etched a place in movie history anyway! Because you can see right through them! It can only become stairs. Just hope I can pull it off. We may also remove posts identifying victims of self injury if the post attacks or makes fun of them. Nobody will memorise your lovingly crafted half hour routine fifty years from now, but we are still quoting those perfect lines from Tommy Cooper, Dorothy Parker or Groucho Marx. Why do bees have sticky hair? The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But some of us are short. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? With sound files to prove the point. I could talk about classic card games all day. With sound files for listening. It came in at quarter past four.
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected. No it was a mutual thing. Body like a Greek statue — completely pale, no arms. More funny jokes: And some quotes: Want more i? Letters should be as brief as possible; while they may discuss any topic of interest to our readers, priority will be given to letters that relate to stories covered by The Brooklyn Paper. At any rate, even if you never use them one liners make for good fun.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. You win the gold, you feel good. Jokes about brown sugar, Demerara. This is my stepladder… I never knew my real ladder. With sound files for listening. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. Ordered chronologically by film title.
And last but not least… Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it. Greatest Movie Quotes of All-Time : These are the most iconic, most acclaimed 'cream of the crop' film quotes, not ranked but arranged chronologically by film title. I was having dinner with a world chess champion and there was a check tablecloth. What a sad state of affairs. Shares 59 One liners are great.